Skiing Affairs
by ConfoederatioHelvetica
Summary: Austria, Switzerland and Prussia have a short discussion on sexual intercourse before sporting events. T for obvious reasons.


**In a Swiss tabloid called the 'Blick' on the 21st of October, there was an article about female skiers from Austria having sex before their tournaments, and how their trainer viewed the situation. It also featured an interview with a Swiss trainer, a Swiss wrestler, and a female Liechtensteinian skier who were all asked to share their opinions on the matter. How would the discussion have looked with all of their respective countries together?**

* * *

><p>It was winter in the Alps. On the side of a mountain was a racetrack for skiing. It was a sunny day and a crowd was milling about, watching the competition excitedly.<p>

Austria, in a blue ski jacket and pants, was being interviewed.

The reporter held the microphone in Austria's direction.

"So, do you think it right that these skiers have had intercourse before their run?"

Austria stuck up his chin and adjusted his glasses slightly with one hand.

"My skiers have every right to take their partners to their hotel rooms. These girls are adults after all, and they can do as they please."

"Thank you for your interview sir."

The reporter turned to leave.

Switzerland, in red and white, came jogging up to Austria; he had evidently been listening.

"You idiot! What the hell are you doing with your team?"

Austria turned towards the confrontation, and answered haughtily.

"I've got no issue with them doing whatever they are doing."

The reporter became interested once again and started recording the incident.

"Unlike you, I have a more prude attitude. I stress that they must focus completely on the sport, and not get distracted by anything that could cost them victory. What gave you the idiotic idea to allow such a thing?"

Austria shifted uncomfortably.

"Well…Prussia told me." he said sheepishly.

"P-PRUSSIA?" Switzerland stared at him with his eyes wide open.

Suddenly, Prussia appeared, and put an arm around Austria's shoulder.

"Yeah! The awesome me! Kesesesesese!"

Switzerland addressed Austria.

"What exactly did that bastard tell you?"

"Well…he told me that in the DDR, the swimmers swore that intercourse before a competition promoted their performance."

"What utter rubbish!" Switzerland exclaimed. "Before I went _Schwinge_, I once had sex and I did not help me one little bit!

"Oh, really Switzy? And who was that with?" Prussia aked accusingly.

Switzerland turned as red as his jacket-

"N-Never you mind!"

"Yes, Switzerland, I would be very interested in that too…" Austria commented.

Liechtenstein joined them, and everyone stopped talking at once.

"Big Brother, I've been looking for you! Where have you been?"

She noticed Austria and Prussia.

"_Guten Tag_ to you. What are you doing?"

Prussia grinned wickedly.

"We were just asking Switzy-"

Switzerland smacked his fist in his mouth and Prussia went down with a bleeding lip and a few loose teeth.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"Really Switzerland, that wasn't necessary." Austria scoffed and turned to the new arrival "If you really want to know, we were just discussing the matter of intercourse before a tournament such as this, and Switzerland was under the impression that it does not help the results."

For a moment Liechtenstein looked puzzled, and Switzerland horrified, then she smiled.

"Well, I once had sex before two large ski-runs, and I can reveal to you that I didn't win"

Austria stared in amazement. Prussia spat blood and chuckled.

"So, you finally escaped Switzy's control, did you?"

"No, it was _with_ him."

Switzerland looked shocked.

"Liechtenstein...I thought that we could keep that a secret…" he complained.

Austria stared disbelievingly as the two.

"You…you…?"

Switzerland stared at his feet, now almost steaming from the heat from his face. Liechtenstein looked into space, as if she was recalling the memory with greatest pleasure.

Prussia slapped Switzerland on the back.

"Good one Switzy! You finally did her!"

Switzerland punched him in the mouth again, but not before he had uttered one last:

"KESESESESE!"


End file.
